Share My Stories!

Saturday, July 12, 2014

Year of Growth

This past year has been a rather difficult one for us. The fall of last year I started the ultrasound program which was amazing and so difficult. We started with 16 and are down to the Fabulous Four. Being so focused on school means that I was not available to do the things I normally do as a stay at home mom. I had to give up taking the kids to co-op, field trips, and our Halloween party was last minute instead of thought out. I brushed aside the kids needs because I needed to focus on school and the academics that I nearly didn't pass. And I had guilt. LOTS of guilt. But the year passed, I passed, and I am now in clinicals, which fills me with joy. I realized that my kids are more self sufficient than I gave them credit for and maybe it wasn't guilt that I wasn't there so much, as me missing doing things with them. We still have mom and kid days where we plan special outings, or just hang out. But I also gave myself permission to be ok with the fact that I like going to clinicals. I like learning ultrasound. I like talking with other ultrasound techs. I love the patients, and their stories. And that's ok. See, growth for mom ;)

Unfortunately that was not all this past year. My husband was diagnosed with throat cancer. This really shook me to the core but I had to stay strong for my family. I think the worst thing I have ever had to do was tell my kids their father had cancer. He went through 8 weeks of radiation and chemotherapy and we are hopeful that when he gets a PET scan in 4 weeks it is all clear. If not, it is back for round 2. I am grateful that this type of cancer is not lethal, and is highly curable. I am also grateful for my school for working with me so I could finish my semester while still taking care of my husband and his many Dr. appt. And this changed me. This made me look at life in a whole new way. And I realized how much of my life is wasted on missed opportunities because I did not want to push myself. And pushing oneself out of the comfort zone is the only way to grow and live life. So I am trying to balance life, kids, school, and saying yes to more adventures. I signed up for Stand Up Paddle-boarding class. I have gone to an amazing art festival. I am signed up for Dirty Girl 5k race. I am exploring my spirituality more and plan on visiting a Buddhist temple. I am reading more. Right now is Mike Dooley, Infinite Possibilites. I am making a vision board all about what makes me happy. It will be filled with trees, beaches, creeks, laughter, old furniture, worms, gardening, friends, wine, and so much more. Because I feel that at 42 I am exploring and learning more about me than ever before. So it will be interesting to see what life has in store for the rest of the year for me and my family. What new opportunities are around the corner? Live life people. As for me, I'm going for a glass of wine :)

Total Pageviews