Many of you know that I am going back to school to become a cardiac ultrasound sonographer. It will take me 5 years since the program is full until 2012 or 2013. What many of you do not know is that this is the 4th (yes that is not a typo error) time going back since 2004.
The first time was for my reflexology certificate. I LOVE doing that but it was hard work trying to market yourself and grow a business in an area that was not very knowledgeable about holistic health.
Then I went to become a state tested nursing assistant. I thought nursing might be an option and the nursing assistant would give me a peek into the medical world. Unfortunately I loved my job but I did not like the facility or state funding or the sight of so many people that were so ignored. It was heartbreaking so I left the field.
So I thought about what it was I loved to do. I loved working in a spa doing the reflexology (which I have always done one the side) and I loved feet so why not go for my nail license and be able to do pedicures and reflexology all at the same appointment. That was 3 years ago and the economy tanked not soon after which made it difficult to make a living when everyone was cutting things which I completely understood.
What is the whole reason I keep going back to school? Well, I never went to college after high school. I worked my way up to accounts payable at a company and I made decent money and I was very good. But I hated it. When I got pregnant with my son I quit because I always thought I wanted to be a stay home mom. And I do love being home for them. But I also love working and feeling good about myself and I wanted a job that would work around my kids. It also evolved that working as a cashier for Target was fine to help my family but I wanted a career, not just a job. And please do not take this as a putdown for stay at home moms. People that know me know I would never do that. I think it is a personal choice and whatever you do works for your family.
Back to school. So I started in the fall back full time after 20 (gasp) years. It has been a difficult transition going to school with a bunch of teenagers and finding my confidence that yes I can do this. But I have to wonder. Have I not been successful with my other chosen careers because I am not following my passion, my heart, my gift?? Consider this. I have wanted to be a writer since I was in elementary school. My best friend, Krista, and I were avid book readers and I remember how badly I wanted to write. And I did. Little stories I never showed anyone. In high school I moved and went to 3 different high schools in 2 states. The last school I went to had no high school paper, journalism classes, nothing. And I was living with my dad. My practical, loving, good intentioned father who kept asking me what my plan b was since writers made no money whatsoever. So I gave it up. And I wandered. Through 3 careers. In between I did start to write again. I wrote a marketing book for reflexologists that I am proud of. I wrote a children's book that I am trying to get published. And I finally made a commitment. I would write. I would write articles and try to get them published. I would write a blog. I would write a movie treatment (that is almost done). I would write because it is what I LOVE to do. I believe you can make it if you follow your passion and do actions. So I am writing. and writing. and writing. And I have not been this happy. When I sit down and write everything is right with the world and I feel like I am actually doing what I was born to do.
I will still go to school and get my degree. And I will write. And if I am successful at writing I will still get my degree and finish. And if I do not do well, I will still write and get my degree. But I am finally following my heart and that is what it is all about. I have come full circle and it feels like I have come home.